Saturday, January 18, 2014

Surgeon General Adds Erectile Dysfunction To Smoking List

50 years ago the U.S. Surgeon General release a comprehensive report indicating that smoking may be hazardous to ones health, outlining the link of smoking to lung cancer. Over time the list of effects of smoking have been added, e.g. heart attacks, strokes, fetal problems, etc. To some success as the percentage of smokers in the U.S. population has steadily declined and an estimated 20,000,000 lives have been changed.
        Sadly, each day 3,200 youths under the age of 18 try their first cigarette. Good news this Friday is that the Surgeon General added to his list of dangers of smoking liver and colorectal cancer, diabetes, and rheumatoid arthritis. But the proverbial coffin nail was also introduced--erectile dysfunction.  Now to those youth with raging elevated levels of testosterone that is a warning that may stick and we may be able to successfully lower the number young smokers. Reduction in smoking too late for my father who started when he was 15, evolved to a three pack a day Kent smoker and died from lung cancer in 1999 at least fortunate to have strong forearms to continually push the morphine drip right up to the moment of his death. Comment in iambic below...
Kick the Butt to Get It Up
At long last we may have a real chance to induce men to give up the butt
The Surgeon General just added ED to smoking dangers list—smoke and you can’t get it up
Cancers to the liver and colon and diabetes to an invincible seem too remote
But the strong emotions of a failed erection might a stronger urge to quit evoke
The image of the cigarette after teen sex to be replaced
Whew, thank you Camel for keeping my virginity in place
If only Marlboros or Camels were required to add a saltpeter dose
Smoking among men save the celibates would quickly be toast
Won’t happen but here’s a marketing concept that may do the trick
More ads where a handsome guy lights up and the foxes turn and flee as if he’s sick
Or the fox enters and all heads turn and stare tongues dropping almost to the floor
She lights up and there are groans of disgust as all handsome men race for the door
Smoking kills and worse it kills those dumb enough or loved ones to be in the line of smoking’s fire
Who do not want to be like wives in ancient India being forced to jump aboard a funeral pyre
The jury may be out on the safety of e-cigs smokeless nicotine hit
Anything is better than the number of cigarettes still lit
And if with the ad dollar money the states have but do not spend
Here’s an idea on a way to the DUI carnage to try to end
The Bud Lite girls all foxes, all tens should be turned on by only one guy
Not those who drink but the designated driver who insures they don’t drive and die
Somehow to the new 3,200 youths each day who their first cigarette try
A message—costs way too much, harder to get sex and better job and later on a lousy way to die!
© January 18, 2014 Michael P. Ridley aka the Alaskanpoet


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